From the daily art of managing polyamorous relationships

Category: Agreements

That’s my freedom, and I’m allowed to… right?

The topic “freedom and polyamory” has occupied me again and again in the last months. Especially after I was on the road a lot, gave lectures and workshops. Again and again people have approached me who had the feeling that they were failing polyamory because they didn’t process their feelings well enough or fast enough or simply didn’t know how to deal with a situation. Often the fear of losing a relationship person or overwhelming them with their own feelings was in the foreground. And again and again such conversations revolved around a concept of freedom, which I can’t understand well or where I find it difficult to understand why this is used as an argument in polyamorous relationships. Very often these concepts were expressed in sentences like “You restrict my freedom”. This means that someone wants to feel free to have relationships and/or sexual contact of any form with others at any time. Continue reading

2 thoughts against primary and secondary relationships.

Actually, some time ago I decided to publish a post on my blog at least once a month…right now even that pushes me a bit to my limits. The last weeks and months have been quite exciting. For the first time I gave a lecture in front of 250 people and shared my experiences from the last 5 years as a poly living person. I’ve been to different cities, held individual workshops and talked a lot, lot, lot about relationships. From all these experiences of the last few months a few thoughts have emerged on the subject of primary and secondary relationships that I would like to share with you. This is my perspective, there are a lot of others, but it is important to me that I position myself because I felt that I was being asked more and more frequently. Continue reading

What to do if agreements are not kept?

At a reading of “more than two” in Berlin, the question suddenly arose and I noticed that I had never written anything about it. I have already had some experience with it. Mistrust is a big topic, maybe you know that well? Soon a blog entry of its own. Continue reading

Lies devour power or why polyamory facilitates honesty in relationships.

If you want to lie well, you need two essential qualities. On the one hand, your own body should be your ally. It’s not good if he suddenly starts to blush, perspire wildly or jump nervously from one foot to the other… Continue reading


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