POLYPLOM

From the daily art of managing polyamorous relationships

Category: General (page 1 of 2)

Life vs. Blog or something like that

It’s been a few months since the last time I posted an article on my blog. There were a few moments when I really wanted to take it up, finally sit back at the PC and share a story worth telling or an exciting thought from my polyamorous everyday life with you. And yet I have not made it. 2.5 years ago I started my blog, since then a lot has changed. In the beginning I was inspired by the idea that there are people there whom I can offer support, to those who are or were similarly feeling. Who can understand how I feel, who can get something out of it. I was glad when I noticed that there are people who follow me, who write me or ask me for advice. I like the exchange, I like going to other cities, getting to know poly-communities, learning from them and enriching each other. Continue reading

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2 thoughts against primary and secondary relationships.

Actually, some time ago I decided to publish a post on my blog at least once a month…right now even that pushes me a bit to my limits. The last weeks and months have been quite exciting. For the first time I gave a lecture in front of 250 people and shared my experiences from the last 5 years as a poly living person. I’ve been to different cities, held individual workshops and talked a lot, lot, lot about relationships. From all these experiences of the last few months a few thoughts have emerged on the subject of primary and secondary relationships that I would like to share with you. This is my perspective, there are a lot of others, but it is important to me that I position myself because I felt that I was being asked more and more frequently. Continue reading

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Why don’t I oute myself?

When I was 13, my mother outet me on her own.At that point I didn’t even know what or who I desire. Worried about my search for myself, she invaded my privacy and feelings and confronted me. This was undoubtedly one of the most painful moments of my youth. A moment that I like to describe today as “the break” in our relationship.
Since then it seems clear that I can be anything but straight. Countless conversations followed and books about books about books, always on the lookout for myself. And again and again the question “Are you sure you don’t like “men”?”.┬áTo be honest, I always found that question strange. How can I know forever who or what I will desire? Continue reading

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Should I sleep alone more often?

When I was still in a monogamous relationship of two and lived with my partner, the question hardly occupied me. There was a bedroom and a living room. This did not leave much room to ask oneself whether one would not rather sleep alone the coming night. Sure, sometimes one person drove out of town and you had to sleep alone, but that had very little to do with the fact that you actively decided to spend the night alone. Continue reading

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Bookrecommendation: Rubberband Families

In november 2016 this awesome book came out and I would like to recommend it to all of you. For the first tome I found my dream of a family concept illustrated in a book and I was super happy about it. Thanks a lot, you rally made an awesome job!

The book shows beautiful illustrations and it also allows us to have a look into the diversity of families. It manages to address different people and supports and empowers all of us who are not in a heterosexual two person relationship. I can imagine that the book is suitable for kids and also for all of us, who are trying not to be them anymore. It can inspire and excite in different ways and I can wanly recommend it to everyone.

By the way, I already fell in love with it on the first pages, see yourself:

“Family is a stretchable term. This book was crafted with rubberbands. Rubberbands exist individually or together, in different sizes. They accompany our everyday life. Sometimes they move to the foreground, they endure a lot and sometimes they break. Rubberbands are dynamic, flexible, reusable as well as binding. Just the right material to create a family book!”

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4 mothers, 1 child.

My brother and I don’t have much in common, yet he is the only person in my family who has always supported me in being who I am. I was 16 and he was 10 years old when I came out to him. Rarely have I had such an unagitated outing. It was completely irrelevant to him whom I desire and how I desire, as long as I am happy, so was he. Continue reading

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Trigger/Situations where I am reminded of old injuries..and how do I deal with them?

Do you know that feeling when your body does what it wants with you? If you notice that you actually want to behave differently, but you can’t because you feel blocked. I know that pretty well. I usually experience this feeling when I feel overwhelmed and, in a way, so surprised by a situation that my body becomes completely closed. Very often I was triggered/reminded of something in such moments. Continue reading

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8 Tips for dealing with jealousy

Because I find that there are almost only bad photos on the subject of jealousy, you better get a nice photo from my current stay in Colombia. ————–

As you know, I’ve been jealous for a long time. It is important to me to write appreciatively about it and also in my workshops I follow an Embracing jealousy approach. After each workshop I go home with new insights and ideas and get to know new ideas and methods for dealing with jealousy. In the following article I would like to share some of my favourite tips with you, as I don’t want to be the only one who benefits from it. Continue reading

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How open must my open relationship be? A commentary on the Monopoly phenomenon.

I have two relationships. For me they are the most binding and intimate bonds in my life. Sometimes I forget that it’s not as natural as it feels. People are always surprised that I don’t have wild orgies, change sexual partners every week or jump from one short-term relationship to the next. Continue reading

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Review of the first polyromantic comedy series “You, Me, Her”.

—–Spoiler alert —

A few weeks ago I stumbled across the series “You, Me, Her”, where a married straight couple begins a kind of triad relationship, after first the man (secretly) and then his wife (out of interest and jealousy when it comes out) meets an escort and both fall in love with her. Continue reading

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