From the daily art of managing polyamorous relationships

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Polyamory und Outing – why is that important?

Almost 13 years ago, when I started to explore my own sexuality and thus part of my identity, I outed myself for the first time in my life in front of friends as a queer (better then still as a lesbian). Outing yourself to people who have known you for a long time and assume that you live an unspoken heterosexuality can be difficult under certain circumstances. Continue reading

4 mothers, 1 child.

My brother and I don’t have much in common, yet he is the only person in my family who has always supported me in being who I am. I was 16 and he was 10 years old when I came out to him. Rarely have I had such an unagitated outing. It was completely irrelevant to him whom I desire and how I desire, as long as I am happy, so was he. Continue reading

Why we need a definition of “love”.

In December 1997, the film “Titanic” was shown for the very first time in the cinemas of the United States. A year later, it was the first film to earn over a billion US dollars and until 2009 it was even ranked first in the list of the most successful films. By the time I was 17, I had already seen the film several times. Continue reading

Trigger/Situations where I am reminded of old injuries..and how do I deal with them?

Do you know that feeling when your body does what it wants with you? If you notice that you actually want to behave differently, but you can’t because you feel blocked. I know that pretty well. I usually experience this feeling when I feel overwhelmed and, in a way, so surprised by a situation that my body becomes completely closed. Very often I was triggered/reminded of something in such moments. Continue reading

5 love languages and the question: When would you end a relationship?

Lately I have the feeling that I have collected a wide range of methods, tips and concepts that have helped me to better understand myself and my relationships. One of them is the 5 love languages. I would like to share with you why I find them so helpful and how they bring me to the question in the headline. Continue reading

8 Tips for dealing with jealousy

Because I find that there are almost only bad photos on the subject of jealousy, you better get a nice photo from my current stay in Colombia. ————–

As you know, I’ve been jealous for a long time. It is important to me to write appreciatively about it and also in my workshops I follow an Embracing jealousy approach. After each workshop I go home with new insights and ideas and get to know new ideas and methods for dealing with jealousy. In the following article I would like to share some of my favourite tips with you, as I don’t want to be the only one who benefits from it. Continue reading

How open must my open relationship be? A commentary on the Monopoly phenomenon.

I have two relationships. For me they are the most binding and intimate bonds in my life. Sometimes I forget that it’s not as natural as it feels. People are always surprised that I don’t have wild orgies, change sexual partners every week or jump from one short-term relationship to the next. Continue reading

Review of the first polyromantic comedy series “You, Me, Her”.

—–Spoiler alert —

A few weeks ago I stumbled across the series “You, Me, Her”, where a married straight couple begins a kind of triad relationship, after first the man (secretly) and then his wife (out of interest and jealousy when it comes out) meets an escort and both fall in love with her. Continue reading

In search of my own exclusivity.

Unexpectedly, the summer slump has hit me harder than I could have imagined. I haven’t posted anything on my blog for almost 2 months now, so much has happened! The baby plans are making great strides, the first move-in and move-out plans are in the implementation phase, I will soon open my first “relationships – where do I start? workshops and next Thursday the blog Sextapes-podcast will do an interview with me. Super exciting all this and I will tell you more about it in the near future. Continue reading

What to do if agreements are not kept?

At a reading of “more than two” in Berlin, the question suddenly arose and I noticed that I had never written anything about it. I have already had some experience with it. Mistrust is a big topic, maybe you know that well? Soon a blog entry of its own. Continue reading

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